Where would we be without friends?! I guess you could answer that in many different ways depending on your experience with those you call/called friends. Maybe you read that question and are filled with positive emotions. For others you read and start feeling hot (not the I’m beautiful hot, but I wanna beat somebody-up kind of hot) and negative emotions begin to affect your attitude.
I can already hear my mama saying, “show me your friends and I’ll show you who you are.” God cares about the people we allow to influence our lives. The Bible teaches us to be open to new friendships, but also teaches we should be very cautious of who we allow to speak into our lives. Proverbs 18:24 says, “A man of too many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Not everyone needs to know your business. We’ve all been hurt by friends, none of us are perfect. We will let each other down.
Anything worth keeping takes work to keep. With that said, God calls us to be inclusive, not stupid. Invest your time don’t spend your time. I’ve had to stop and ask the Holy Spirit to lead my friendships. Take a moment, pray, and ask yourself a few questions:
1.) Are the focus of my conversations more about “someone” or “the One”? (Jesus).
I know it sounds corny, but relationships built on gossip are only a conversation from being torn down. You’ll break it with the same thing that built it. Read Proverbs 16:28.
2.) Are my friends allowed to call-me-out and still hang-out?
Keep the people that can lovingly tell you the truth. Be careful not to translate their love for hate. Return to friend mode ASAP, keep your friendship united.
3.) Do you know the difference between solitude and isolation? (First Mentions, Keenan Collins, thanks for this!)
Solitude says, “I need some time alone in order to refuel and keep the main thing, the main thing.” Jesus walked away from the crowd to rejuvenate and be with the Father. Isolation says, “people hurt me too much, I’d rather be alone instead of getting hurt all the time.” The pain is real and so are the wounds, but you don’t want that to keep you from healthy amigos/amigas. Satan wants you talking to yourself instead of seeking and expressing your thoughts to God and the counsel of the loving people He’s placed in your life.
Please let me know your thoughts by leaving a comment. I can always learn more about healthy friendships, help me!